Affair recovery
If you’ve just found out
You don’t need to make any big decisions tonight. You don’t need all the answers yet. What you’re feeling, whether it’s shock, anger, grief or numbness, is a normal response to a profound injury. Take a breath. When you’re ready, help is here.
Rebuilding after an affair
An affair can shake the foundation of a relationship. Many couples do rebuild, and some find a deeper, more honest connection than they had before. Recovery takes time, structure and a therapist who can hold both partners’ pain without taking sides.
I have specialized Gottman training in affairs and trauma, and I guide couples through recovery at a pace that respects both of you.
What recovery involves
I follow the Gottman Method’s three-phase approach to affair recovery: Atone, Attune and Attach.
- Atone. The first and most important phase. The focus is on taking responsibility, expressing remorse, and embracing transparency and verification.
- Attune. With that foundation in place, you learn to understand each other and turn toward each other again.
- Attach. Together, you build a new and better relationship.
Each phase rests on the one before it, so we don’t rush. The work moves at a pace that keeps both of you steady.
A note on safety and fit
Affair recovery works best when the affair has ended and both partners are committed to trying. If that isn’t where you are yet, that’s okay. We can talk privately about what makes sense for you, and I can suggest other options if they would serve you better.
Email to schedule a free consultation
Bev@BeverlySeward.com · 719-347-1547
Please keep your first email short: your names, a phone number, and a few times that suit you. We’ll talk about everything else in person.